10 months today

To my Joshua,

My, my baby have you grown! You are starting to look like a little boy now instead of a babe. I can almost see you at age 5 and it makes Mama want to cry. I'm so pround of you and so is Dada. This year has almost been a blur. You've hit every milestone with ease except for sleeping through the night. But it seems like you've joined the club of many babies that don't sleep through in your generation. So Mama isn't worried, that night will soon come. Two more months until your birthday. I'd repeat that day ten times over to have you and we're blessed God chose us to be your parents.

Well, the peds. visit went okay. We had to wait a little while which we aren't used to because it was an urgent/sick visit so we were squeezed in appointments. Josh got restless in the waiting room and fell in love with an older woman (little girl about 16 months old). He insisted on touching her and I mentioned to the father that he is sick and it wasn't a good idea. They were drawn to each other as most children/babies are.

Finally in the exam room, right away after listening to his lungs the doc said he was wheezing. My heart dropped and right away I though, 'he is going to have asthma like me!" I'm hoping this is something that'll go away but asthma is hereditary. And why does it seem like African American's tend to have it? I remember a study done years ago about low-income families living in the projects and the corelation with roaches. For lack of better words, WE AIN'T GOT NO ROACHES! It pisses me off because despite the diet, the care, he still may get asthma.

So, the doctor prescribes Albuterol liquid which I know right away will help him but one of the side effects is jitteriness, tachycardia and for kids that recipe is bouncing off the walls. Josh didn't sleep until 10pm. About an hour an a half later than his usual bedtime. I'm thinking he'll sleep late...not this kid. He's up 6:30-7:00am like clock work, with three times waking up during the night. I want him to cry himself to sleep but my husband gets up with one little "ahhh" from Joshua. I urged him to let him cry, we've done everything else BUT Ferberize this kid, it's the last resort but he won't stick to it. I work nights and I know when he's home at night with him he doesn't let him cry. This should have been part of yesterday's 'pepa vent' too. But anyhoo, my gut feelings about this cold rang true. I can only hope that it ends here and not with another visit. I'm not looking forward to dealing with asthma if that's what it is.